I sympathise, especially with how I now behave when riding my bike.
I’m clearing out my old Korea notes and I found this gem that I wrote down during a lecture in the orientation week:
Apparently we educate so that Ss can pay taxes and be productive members of society. And to stamp out “deviant behaviour”.
Out of all the OECD countries Korea has the highest working hours and the lowest productivity.
I spent the first two weeks of this month trying to decide between offers to study a one-year master’s at the University of St. Andrew’s in Scotland, and to study a two-year master’s at University College London. Both are research-oriented, both would cost a big chunk of my savings. I managed to factor out almost everything that differs about the two prospects, and I decided in the end to choose to go to London. This came down to my emotional reaction to spending a year in a small Scottish village versus spending two years in vibrant London, despite not having any money while there. And then the University of Arizona, a significantly higher ranked philosophy department than either UCL or St. Andrew’s, made me a last-minute offer to go study there, fully funded with a salary on a teaching fellowship, giving me just 48 hours to respond.
In thinking about studying philosophy again at Arizona, I feel like I’m to walk a fine line between succombing to the academic cult in my own head that my entire self-worth depends on my academic success there, and the fear of success that will have me not engage properly because I’m afraid I might like it.
